Thursday, December 31, 2009



Setting: A Punk Ass Alley in Nanaimo, British Columbia, Canada, V5H 1S6

JAKE THE SNAKE is waiting on his World War 3 Hovercycle. He checks his retro analog watch, looking sketched-out.

JAKE pulls some hair grease from his motorcycle satchel. He flicks a comb into his pomp, and works the magic while looking into a small handheld mirror.

We see the mirror. Some hair grease spills onto the surface, blurring JAKE. JAKE's hand wipes away the grease, and the picture becomes clear.

Jake hears a high pitched whine. JAKE freezes.

JAKE: Esmeralda?!

A vampire BABBY pops out of a dumpster, covered in slime. His mouth puckers and he lets out a primordial roar, baring one gleaming tooth.


JAKE THE SNAKE: BABBY you're lookin' real adorable today. Those fangs couldn't open a can of baby food!!!

BABBY bites JAKE THE SNAKEs neck., JAKE screams & tries to throw BABBY off but is unsuccessful .

It' the year 1600 in the Bathory Castle: a small family is sitting around a very ornate dinner table. Countess Bathery, smiles into a shining goblet, filled with red liquid. Her hair is disheveled, she looks extremely tired. BATHORY smoothes her embroidered dress, stainining her hands with fresh red blood.

BATHERY: Nurse!!! Prepare this child for my BATH!

NURSE: Oui Madame.

The nurse crouches beneath BATHORY'S bare feet. She picks up the small, pathetic bundle and hugs it away into the darkness of the castle chambers.

The nurse hurries down a dark corridor, filled with paintings of beautiful young women. The baby whimpers, and the nurse hugs him all the closer, and smiles at him, showing fangs.

_____________________PLEASE DUBBSTERS, CONTINUE THE ADVENTURE, LET'S BE BALLIN SPIELBERG STYLE++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++